Elastigirl

Suddenly this movie superhero feels awfully familiar

The mother in the movie The Incredibles has the superpower of being elastic. She can stretch all limbs and her back to reach incredible distances and navigate over and through obstacles.
 
I had a revelation a few days ago. They chose this superpower for the mom very deliberately. I'm sure the moms who watched the movie saw the parallelism to their own lives immediately - that is, the moms who were not too sleep deprived and were not doing three other things while watching the movie.
 
When I saw the movie, I was not yet a mom, but rather a mom-to-be. It was when Natasha was seven months old and I was struggling with the idea of adding some part-time work to the mix of family and self that I realized how elastic you have to be to stretch yourself out over all the demands that are made on you and to have something left for yourself. This usually is the mom's purview, though there are dads out there who are in this boat.
 
Being only seven months old when I realized this, Natasha was at a stage where she relied on me for everything. And I mean everything. She could not (and still cannot) even get out of bed without me, and I could not remember the last time I had gone to the bathroom during the day by myself. I love our daughter and adore my time with her. Even though it seems like a chore sometimes and there are always a dozen other things I could be doing, I know that this time will not last forever and I will miss it and reminisce about it with Natasha's dad in just a few years. And you cannot do other things when you are with your child; it just does not work. You have to surrender to the fact that your time must be 100% focused on them in order for it to not be frustrating and unpleasant for both of you.
 
Then there is my husband. I miss my husband when he is at work and when we have to split our attention when we are together. I want to be with him as much as I can. It seems like there is never much time together with his work taking up so much time.
 
And then, way down on the list of priorities, there is the self. Before having a husband and child there were already many demands on your time. The list is still endless, but the amount of time available for these things has decreased by three quarters. Being home all day means that I end up doing the cooking, cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, grocery shopping, and miscellaneous other errands. You have to add some social activities to this endless routine, and amazingly even a simple coffee meeting with one friend or a get together with a group of moms takes up half a day.
 
Now try squeezing in an activity for your self. Thank goodness for nap time, that is what I have learned. And now that Natasha has a consistent bed time of 7:00, there is time in the evenings to do work, read, watch a movie, or just cuddle on the couch. Hooray! Going to yoga three times a week feels like such a luxury. Now I am thinking of adding a part-time (very part-time) job to the whole mix to help with finances and to keep my mind from atrophying. Some days I am not sure what I am thinking when I consider where I would find the time for this; other days I wonder why I have not been out knocking on doors to find a shift or two of work.
 
Now, remember that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I do have to sleep (though this seems to have been optional over the last year). Squeezing all these activities into a day, most of which you can do with only one arm, is a stretch. Just like Elastigirl, moms have to be able to stretch themselves thin over long distances, cover a lot of ground, and make it all look easy and themselves look fabulous at the same time. It's a lot to expect and to produce, but amazingly, most moms manage it and can even do it with style.

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