Parent Profile

Jason and Chi - Raising Kota in two continents

For today's profile, we are doing some traveling. First we head over to Guelph, Ontario, where Chi Narita and Jason Fritch make their home with their 1-year-old son, Kotaro (Kota for short), and then we will be going back and forth between Ontario and Aomori, Japan.

Jason (my older brother) took a job teaching English in Japan nine years ago. After 2 1/2 years of being a teacher, and just a few days before his flight home, Jason was at a "live house", a club that hosts live entertainment, when he met Chi who was working the lights. The two only had a few days together before Jason left to return to Canada, but they spent time getting to know each other and stayed in touch. Ten months after his return to Canada, Jason decided to go back to Japan for a 2-month stay. He arranged to stay with Chi at her apartment when he first arrived, and then after a few days would leave on his bicycle to tour the countryside. "A few days" quickly turned into the full two months where the two spent time together, got to know each other and fell in love. Jason returned home as planned, and 8 months later, Chi followed him to Canada. They were married within a year of their reunion.

Chi grew up on her parents' rice farm in northern Japan. She has always had an interest in food and cooking and has worked with food, either in the home or employment, for most of her life. She found work in a kitchen in Guelph, where she would share her dismay with Jason after a day of work at how people could cut eggplants at different widths with each slice. Her efficiency soon garnered her the position of kitchen manager.

On the home front, Chi had applied for permanent resident status and then started the long wait for approval. After 11 months (and $2,000), she was granted status and given provincial medical coverage. Now the dream of starting a family was a financial possibility. It was not long before Kotaro made his way into the world (one year and one day after his cousin, our Natasha, was born) making Chi his "okasan" and Jason his "otasan."

I asked Jason (who spoke as interpreter) if he noticed much difference in how Japanese women approach childbirth compared to us in North America. He said that when he asked Chi if she wanted to take a prenatal course, she looked at him like it was the craziest idea or concept she had ever heard of. This seems to be the prevailing attitude towards such a class, but Jason guesses that, given the "Japanese trait to get caught up in fads," he would not be surprised to learn that in the larger cities they have classes for moms-to-be.

Because of the extended family and large support group that it affords, most of the knowledge women need is brought to them through the experience of their mothers, aunts, sisters and grandmothers. Jason guesses that this would also lead to more focus on the mom after the birth, whereas in North America all the emphasis is on the baby. (I recently saw a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor who studied in China and was the head of gynecology at Beijing Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine. She asked me how much weight I had gained when pregnant and then how much I weighed after Natasha was born. I almost did not know what the second question was asking. I said that they did not weigh me, they just weighed her. The doctor shook her head and said, in an exasperated voice, "always just the baby; never about the woman.") Chi, who Jason describes as "a loner by nature," prefers the privacy that is afforded by North American society. She is content to sacrifice the support of her family members if it means that she does not have to have strangers and neighbours come into the house at 6:00 am unannounced. And while she reads books for advice and help with developmental phases, she still finds help from other moms about 75 percent of the time.

When the family of three (with Kota's Canadian grandmother tagging along) went to Japan in October to visit Chi's family, they were presented with a kokeshi doll that Chi's parents had made for Kota when he was born. This Japanese tradition makes a wood doll that is the same length as the baby at birth and fills it with sand or hollows it out to make it weigh the birth weight, painting it in effigy and writing the birth date, weight and length on the body. Chi still has hers from her birth. (Find out about other traditions during pregnancy and childbirth here.)

When food is introduced to a baby in Japan, there is a great feast prepared. Each food is brought, by chopsticks, to the baby's mouth. This prepares him or her for the tastes of eating. Kota's diet is incredibly varied. His mom loves to be in the kitchen, and Japan has, by nature of its distance from other growing areas, a very seasonally and locally based food system. Being from a remote area of Japan and growing up on a farm, Chi's expertise in creating a variety of dishes with what is close at hand was even more than average. And, being an island that relies heavily on food from the surrounding waters, she was and still is a big seafood eater. Kota has benefited from both his parents' love for and appreciation of food and cooking.

I asked Jason what we do in North America surrounding childbirth that he thought they should adopt in Japan. I was shocked to hear that when Chi was still living there, they did not allow the husband into the delivery room. I can't imagine this still being the case, but he points out that being a mom is truly and fully what a woman's job is, and going out to work is what the man does. In the middle of the day, you see only women on the streets of Japanese cities and villages. The men are inside, working.

As for the new papa, Jason says that the biggest change he has been through since becoming a dad is that he has to work a lot more. Being self-employed and the only one currently brining in any money, he does feel some pressure that he has not had before. He makes sure that, no matter how much work he has to do, he always comes home for some special family time before Kota goes to bed.

Kota is not yet 14 months, so we do not yet know what his first words will be. Hearing Japanese from his mom all day and English from his dad, it should be an interesting mix. And with his walking and running prowess already well developed, Chi has her hands full with this strong, independent youngster, strengths he gets from both parents.

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